Vancouver Drift

That's what it comes down to, in terms of attaining happiness in the most Aristotelian sense of the word. Virtue. To be happy requires you to live a good life well. There may be material misfortunes like that of Job or Priam, but the manner in which the character that has developed deals with fortune and misfortune dictates position in life and therefore happiness.

Then, there are two typologies of virtues. One being the virtue of character, where character is developed through habituation. There is nothing natural about it, for example, you are not brave because you are born brave, this braveness is developed. From small beginnings, where you made the decision to try oatmeal instead of the more comforting cereal, to the time you stood up for your friend and got your ass kicked for it. These small beginnings accumulate and develop the spark or fiery flame of the virtue called bravery in you. This is learnt through habituation and implicitly, a submission to an ideal. This submission is what is so hidden and so elusive to one such as myself.

I pride myself (pride is another problem for another day) in the virtue of the intellect. I guess that's what happens when you get bombarded by the torrential hail of higher education, critical thinking. You can't subscribe to a single text or idea.

Truth is everywhere, but nowhere to be found.

My skill (and weakness) lies in my ability to look at virtue from all angles. To look at the many facets of truth and criticize more shit out of it than a goat at a chinese buffet. I can understand virtue, what it means to be virtuous. I can question the many conceptions of what is virtuous, what I should do or be or say.

But I cannot subscribe, submit and therefore I subsist, barely, on broken truths and criticism. The advantages of the (i call them) ignorant, are in sight, but unavailable to one outside the looking glass. Too proud, too timid, too unprepared to hazard a jump into the looking glass.