Vancouver Drift

hmmm road trip across canada? sounds like a good idea to me right now. anyone wanna come? or am i gonna have pancake breakfasts by myself.

seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitaly alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, "this is the real me," and when you ahve found that attitude, follow it.


since the majority of web users who have continued to read this pathetic space are either in university or just out of it... have you found that voice? that thing that you know, instinctually to be yours? i have friends who go into university with the goal of becoming a teacher, doctor, lawyer, or journalist. it seems most of them have known that is what they want to do. lots of them are on their way out of the shadows of the lives that they decided to chase.

i guess the old adage holds, if you want something badly enough, there's nothing that can stop you. perhaps it should be specified that you first have to know what you want, and then have the confidence in yourself to move sequentially towards the goal. but i guess the problem that always arises is two-fold: first, how do you really know what you want? some people may know from an early age, but how do you as a lost twentysomething figure out this who life and identity thing while lookin for a way to pay the bills and pick up chicks. second, how do you start closing the gap between what you want to do and what you can do? if i want to become a mathematician but currently think that integration is sexual innuendo and can't divide to save my life, do i really have the ability to succeed. or music, i've always wanted to be a musician, but music does not come easily to me like it does to so many. have i missed the boat?

people say, chase your dreams, but how is there a certain age where you are limited by the choices of your past? the inaction of the past return to haunt you in a manner of speaking. "no mom, screw that shit, i'm not practicing anymore. i'm gonna be a venture capitalist, what the do i need to learn how to read music for?" fast forward to 10 years later, and your beggin the university guitar club to take pity on your blasphemous soul.

the last paragraph, i believe, should be ignored for prudence. because it is an insidious symptom of the real problem behind inaction: the fear of failure and the fear of the emotional stress that failure causes. how then are we to brave the paralyzin power of failure? one must realize that when we find that inner voice, and follow it, we must learn how to fail. learn how to fail, and move on. there is no other way. when i think of people with disabilities overcoming them to become great at what they do despite not having hands or sight, i look at myself in shame. when the 74 year old passed me on grouse mountain, i realized that when your mind is strengthened enough so that you can accept failure quickly, and move on, that is when you are most dangerous.

deliberate over the consequences of your decisions, but once the deliberating is done, make the decision and don't look back.